


Live Tweeting from Manfred Manor

by headraline



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: But so is Markus, Carl the king of shitposting, Connor is a thot, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Gen, Humor, M/M, established rk1k, fluff (kind of), i was bored ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headraline/pseuds/headraline
Summary: Carl Manfred(@officialmanfredart)So, my stepson has a guy over who stayed the night and my wife doesn’t know yet.I’m curious on how he plans to smuggle him out now that the whole family is awake……and now we wait.





	Live Tweeting from Manfred Manor

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so I need to explain this.
> 
> I came across [this article](http://www.brain-sharper.com/entertainment/step-dad-live-tweet-fb/?utm_campaign=Step+Dad+Tweets+V6+MP19+Dave+www+VV%3E4+En+-+Desktop+WW+FB&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=WC&fbclid=IwAR3f_PNuo6nSA75uE2vgidpmzJ-u5rREmoJwJEumN6TPaP9jewQSdd2ax3Q) ; and thought to myself "oh, this is GOLDEN rk1k material".
> 
> I debated for a second whether it should be Carl or Hank live tweeting, but I went with Carl since he's more likely to have a social media presence.
> 
> I'd love to blame discord for this, but this is just me being an idiot. XD

_[11/04/2019 Thread start]_

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                So, my stepson has a guy over who stayed the night and my wife doesn’t know yet.  
                I’m curious on how he plans to smuggle him out now that the whole family is awake…  
  
                …and now we wait.

 

 **I’m not weird I swear**  
_(@ARTfanatic1649)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                Umm TELL US MORE??

 

 **Kamski**  
_(@sociallyacceptable_username)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                Wait, which son? Is it Markus? I feel like that’s something Markus would do.

 

 **Leo M.** _  
(@imthegoddamnlionking)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart,_ _@sociallyacceptable_username , @ARTfanatic1649_  
                I can neither confirm nor deny… but I am also laughing my ass off.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                People asking for updates: guy’s still here, the wife has gone into full Saturday cleaning mode.  
                She still hasn’t noticed the nice white shoes by the door.  
                This could be their chance while she’s distracted. (ง'̀-'́)ง

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                [a picture of a house entrance, with a shoe rack in full view and only one pair of pristine white shoes on the floor beside it]  
                No one in their right mind would have all-white shoes in a painter’s house.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                [a photo of a lady with her hair tied up in a ponytail, snapped from the back, showing off a neck tattoo and several ones on her arm]  
                10:00 am EDT… My wife (amazing wife) is cleaning so hard she hasn’t even noticed me sneaking behind her to take this pic.  
                Music cranked up all the way. Now’s the chance… will he see the opportunity?

 

 **One and only Queen of the Universe**  
_(@north_star_bitches)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart  
                _d’aww look at you fawning over the missus. Also smh Markus has learnt NOTHING.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                And the wife is done in the bathroom and has moved on to the kitchen… the kitchen is at the bottom of the stairs! Oof.

 

 **Rod Uding**  
_(@roughdesigning)_

 _Replying to_ @officialmanfredart, @iamthegoddamnlionking  
                [gif of a man furiously eating pop-corn with a concerned look]  
                The tension rises.

 

 **Just Josh**  
_(@areujoshinme)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                I s2g, only Markus could get himself into these situations. Is the wife really strict?

 

 **Leo M.**  
_(@iamthegoddamnlionking)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart , @areujoshinme_  
                No, mom’s actually really chill she just doesn’t like us when we think we’re being sneaky. And my brother is an insecure moron.

 

 **One and only Queen of the Universe**  
_(@north_star_bitches)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart , @iamthegoddamnlionking, @areujoshinme_  
                that sounds like Markus alright.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                I hear definite moving around from his room right above me. It’s 10:39 and the poor boy hasn’t had a chance pee this morning.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                [side by side comparison of two pictures: the first one is two guys snuggling on a bed in front of a laptop,  
                one of them only in sweatpants and a tank top, with tan skin and green eyes, the other with messy brown curls,  
                wearing a t-shirt and jeans ripped at the knee, face half hidden by black-rimmed glasses  
                – the second picture is the photo of Mrs. Manfred getting herself busy around the house]  
          So who we rooting for?

  * Young Love
  * Mama Bear



 

 **Just Josh**  
_(@areujoshinme)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart  
_                Considering it’s Markus, he needs all the support he can get. I say Young Love.

 

 **One and only Queen of the Universe**  
_(@north_star_bitches)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_  
              HOLY SHIT IF THAT IS WHO I THINK IT IS YOUNG LOVE ALL THE WAY. Lord knows it took those two long enough. Jeez.

 

 **Leo M.**  
_(@iamthegoddamnlionking)_

                Let it never be said I’m not a supportive brother.  
                RT @officialmanfredart  
                So who we rooting for?

  * **_Young Love 62%_**
  * _Mama Bear 38%_



 

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                I think they might be waiting it out. The wife usually lies down and reads after lunch, especially after cleaning her ass off all morning.  
                Could he be waiting for that? Could bf hold his pee another hour or so?? I have no idea what they’re thinking up there! °Д°

**Kamski**  
_(@sociallyacceptable_username)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                [an animated gif of a man jumping out of a window]  
                If all else fails, this is our last resort option…

 

 **Let Me Be Frank**  
_(@ssfrank_12)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                …did Mama Bear kill everyone?

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                I’m just waiting like the rest of you… just watching. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **Luther**  
_(@lutherwords)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                Those of us left in anticipation are suffering the most this morning.  
                Well, the guy who hasn’t had a chance to pee in four hours is suffering the MOST, but then us.

**Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                OMG OMG OHHHH MAH GAAAWD. HE CAME DOWN TO USE THE BATHROOM! IT’S ONE OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS FROM HIS MASTER’S!!!  
                See… Mom might believe it’s just a friendly sleepover.

 

 **Leo M.**  
_(@iamthegoddamnlionking)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_  
                She was lucky enough to sleep through the fuckfest above your heads at 4 am?

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                I don’t even know if the wife saw him come downstairs and use the bathroom. She’s said nothing and it’s not like I can ask… yet.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

              OMG THIS KID!! NONCHALANT AF he casually strolls downstairs… AND grabbed those shoes and went back upstairs.  
                Side eyeing me the whole way past. I shot him a little wink. ;)  
                They’re gonna hit that side door. Bet.

**Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                Aaand closure. Sure enough, hit the side door and they’re gone. I don’t know about you, but I need a drink after all that suspense!  
                Thanks for following along, that was amazing!

 

 **Kara W.**  
_(@wonderlandgoddess)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_  
                A thought though: no one cleans the bathroom furiously unless they’re already ticked off by something and are working off some stress.  
                SHE KNOWS.

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                Nope, my lady scrubs this house ceiling to floor every Saturday. I got lucky like that.

 

 **I Am Alive**  
_(@Markus_M)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_  
                DAD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.

 

 **Leo M.**  
_(@iamthegoddamnlionking)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_ , _@Markus_M_  
                You’re not slick, brother.

 **Just Josh**  
_(@areujoshinme)_

 _Replying to @officialmanfredart_, _@Markus_M_ , _@iamthegoddamnlionking_  
                Not even a little.

 

 **Hank Anderson**  
_(@fuckingusername)_

                _Replying to @officialmanfredart_, _@Markus_M_  
                _@mynameisconnor_ is THAT what you were up to on your supposed “study group”?

 

 **One and only Queen of the Universe**  
_(@north_star_bitches)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_ , _@Markus_M_ , _@fuckingusername_  
                LMAO RUN.

 

 **Just Josh**  
_(@areujoshinme)_

 _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_ , _@Markus_M_ , _@fuckingusername_  
                Run.

 

 **I Am Alive**  
_(@Markus_M)_

                _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_ , _@fuckingusername_  
                For what it’s worth, we really were studying at one point…?

 

 **Hank Anderson**  
_(@fuckingusername)_

                _Replying to @officialmanfredart_, _@Markus_M_  
                DEFINITELY run.

 

 **Connor Anderson**  
_(@mynameisconnor)_

                _Replying to_ _@officialmanfredart_ , _@Markus_M_  
                Oh, Markus… ♥  
                …seriously though, run.

 

_[12/04/2019]_

 

 **I’m not weird I swear**  
_(@ARTfanatic1649)_

                Yo, _@officialmanfredart_ , _@mynameisconnor_ , _@iamthefuckinglionking_ is _@Markus_M_ still alive?  
                Y’all left us worried over here!

 

 **Connor Anderson**  
_(@mynameisconnor)_

                _Replying to @ARTfanatic1649_  
                He’s alive, my dad’s just protective like that. Scare tactics 101.  
                His mother is delightful btw, we did all that sneaking around for nothing.

 

 **I Am Alive**  
_(@Markus_M)_

                _Replying to @mynameisconnor_  
                …I hate all of you.

 

 

_[bonus:]_

 

 **Carl Manfred**  
_(@officialmanfredart)_

                For all the haters complaining that I’m not helping my wife with the cleaning…  
                First of all: fuck you, you don’t know my life.  
                Second: I make some bomb-ass sandwiches around here, so there’s that.


End file.
